Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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