just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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