I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
