i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
