You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you would pick up someone in the library
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
