I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
