How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
