dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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