He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
