Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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