Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
