she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's blow job season.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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