Me too!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
