$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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