Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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