Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
