At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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