im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
