You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
