I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
