Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
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while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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