ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
did you just send me my own nude
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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