i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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