Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
