is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
