you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
