She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
