i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
