I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
pray to the hookup gods
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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