I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry about my life...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
