Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
