We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
