I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
