OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
