Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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