You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
