flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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