I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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