i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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