who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
