I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
