You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
that's an acceptable place to lick
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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