I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
