she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You can't just leave with hair like that
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
