my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
