should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
