if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize