Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
