so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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