I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
