He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
