I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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