That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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