Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
