Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
