Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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