I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
