He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
